Goodbye Gear
The cultural re-entry workshop that I went to yesterday has started to get me thinking about great things ending so other things can begin again. All good things must come to an end, and unfortunately the end to my amazing journey is approaching faster than I can say Spain. Having finished my classes for the semester, I’ve started to think ahead to the exams that I have next week, and ultimately my life after Spain. The transition from my time in Madrid back to the US is already beginning, and I think it’s going to be much harder than my transition was from the US to Spain. Although I’ve been separated from all of the people I love and miss the most for the last four months, it doesn’t mean their lives or my life has been on pause. I think the most difficult part of coming home is having to pick up right where I left off as an entirely different person than I was when I left. I’m thankful for the challenge that I faced everyday in a country where the native language was not my own, the pace of life slower, and the customs different. I’m thankful for overcoming the reoccurring waves of feeling like I’m alone on an island and I’m thankful for riding out this rollercoaster with poise and confidence. Along with the struggle I have found great success, and a new perspective on life, the United States, and most importantly myself that I’m not ready to give up- now or ever. I’m just left hoping that life will be this good again someday.
I’m definitely going to miss the little things about Spain—their complete lack of rush to do anything, the ‘alimentacion’ where I got a bottle of water on my walk to school, always making time for other people, the metro & unbelievable public transportation, living in a lively city, happy hour at Fridays, meeting everyone in Parque del Buen Retiro after class to watch the sunset with a bottle of wine, having a more demanding social life than academic life, feeling more or less technologically disconnected from the world, our 10 euro picnic lunches for 6, and the rest of the world waiting two hours in any direction.
Let’s get real, this transition is going to be just as sweet as it is bitter…..I tear up just thinking about the day I get to see people I know and love face to face. I’ve discovered a new found appreciation for having loved ones if not in the same state, in the same country and same continent. I think I took for granted before how easy it was for me to be able to see & spend time with the people who are most important in my life. I will never again forget these immigrant like feelings; no matter the situation, emotional adjustment is not an easy task. I’m looking forward to having my complete independence back. Living with a family has been the most unbelievable facet of this experience, but I do sacrifice a lot of my independence to make sure that I fall in line with their schedules and needs. I’m too excited to be overwhelmed at Target, more than I have ever been in the past. I’m salivating at the thought of my first bagel and slice of New York pizza. It hurts me to have the beach further than a bay’s leap away. I cannot wait to make a phone call or send a text and not think about how much it’s going to cost me. Most importantly I can’t wait to breathe in a deep breath of fresh, salty, air that is smoke-free.
When I went to Barcelona last weekend I got a taste of the beach that I had been missing and it reminded me of why I missed it so much. There’s nothing more relaxing or reviving than a day on the beach. (In Barcelona you can even get a massage!) So as I take my place as a hermit at my desk in this beautiful 85 & sunny weather for the next four days, I will be thankful knowing that I’ve lived perfectly these past four months. I am thankful that I’ve had such an unbelievable experience, and that I have so much to look forward to as I get myself into goodbye gear.
For my mom, and all of the amazing ‘mom-like’ women in my life, happy mother’s day! I love you, miss you & thank you!
Gran Canaria- May 15th
BEYONCE in MADRID! – May 19th
New York- May 20th
